I had to do a sleep study back at the beginning of the year (fun fact! I have four sleeping disorders). I kept track of my sleep using a form they gave me for a few weeks before the study to see where I was at in terms of my sleeping schedule. The results of my tracking were both intriguing and horrifying: I didn’t have a consistent sleep schedule AT ALL.

After that experience I decided I would try to improve my schedule as best I could, and I would continue to track my sleep so I could see how it was going. I tried a few apps and none of them did what I wanted or were easy to use, so I just made a spreadsheet. My sleeping schedule is still pretty inconsistent, but I know exactly how much now.

I also try to track my drinking and drug use using an app called (hilariously) dose. This was the only app I saw that was more focused on tracking use, rather than a path towards abstinence (I love drugs! I think marijuana and psychedelics improve my life! Drinking is more questionable, but at this time, I am not trying to curb my use).

I track my (weekly) showers in my google calendar. Google fit tracks my steps and yoga practices when I use another app called down dog (the two can be linked!). I have an IUD but I still get some spotting, I am thinking of looking at it in a period tracking app to see if it adheres to a cycle.

So much data about my everyday life! I don’t even know exactly what I plan to do with all this information I collect, am I trying to improve my life? That seems to be the most common narrative surrounding tracking. I don’t think I am though: I’m just witnessing my life and checking for patterns. What will I do if I identify a pattern? Again, I am not sure, I’m just gathering and questioning. Everything in this culture seems geared towards self improvement but I don’t want to play that game. I don’t want to maximize myself.

So, since I don’t track with improvement in mind, it almost seems pointless, ALMOST. However, this non-improvement focused tracking does allow me to see myself as I am. I don’t have to question if it has been two weeks since I showered; I can check and see. It is hard to remember to track all these things and it takes up a surprisingly large amount of time but it is something I am doing this particular season. For now, I am collecting and analyzing the minutiae of my life, just because.